Hell's Kitchen

It's not dinner at the zoo. It's dinner in Hell's Kitchen.

329 W. 51st St., between Eighth and Ninth Aves., (212) 315-3315
Sun.-Wed., 5 p.m.-1a.m.; Thu.-Sat., 5 p.m.-3 a.m.
Cuisine: African barbecue
Vibe: Funky Hell's Kitchen spot.
Occasion: Casual date, group dinner.
Don't Miss Dish: Venison sosoties & chicken bobotie.
Average Price: Appetizers, $12; entrees, $23; dessert, $8.
Reservations: Recommended

Do you ever read the menu online before you go to a restaurant? It's a bad idea, at least at Braai.

I skipped lunch and all of my mid-afternoon snacks because I planned to take down a barbecued ostrich that evening.
 
And what did I get? I got one dainty skewer of overcooked ostrich, domestically raised. I didn't want domestically raised. I had my heart set on ostrich right off the veldt.

And where's the antelope? I came for antelope. There was talk of zebra in the papers, too. But the only black-and-white- striped object at Braai is a zebrawood table in the brandy room. So it's not dinner at the zoo ... it's in Hell's Kitchen.

Braai looks like an African date-hut - mood lighting, rose petals scattered on the tables, a reed canopy overheard and lots of dripping candles. There's also a lady at the bar getting her face painted. Turns out she's the hostess. Did I mention the music? Way too much music.

Here's a rule for restaurants: Live music means you're trying to hide the food. It's like the strolling violinist or the mariachi band. Please, just stroll away.

The best thing about Braai may be the wine list. It's exclusively South African. I especially liked the FMC Chenin Blanc 2005 - a crisp, complex white wine with hints of honey and vanilla. It's not cheap. A half bottle is $55, worth the splurge. So is the Neil Ellis Cabernet Sauvignon 2003. You can also try a cocktail made with African rum or one of the house-infused brandies, a welcome by-product of the African surplus of grapes.

Okay, let's talk about the barbecue. If you order meat, insist on medium rare. No more. Otherwise, it will taste like beef jerky, or the game version called biltong in South Africa.

If you want venison, order the appetizer. It's marinated in rooibos syrup and speared with dried apricots, green peppers and onions.

Lamb? Order the mutton-wors - lamb sausage served over a warm yogurt-guava sauce.

One reason to visit this restaurant is to learn a whole new culinary vocabulary. I know my sosoties, but not my bobotie. Sosoties are skewers of marinated meat. Bobotie is the offspring of meatloaf and shepherd's pie.

I had the chicken bobotie. It reminded me of gastropub grub. It was full of raisins, shredded carrots, and chutney. And there was an egg on top. Also worth ordering - the prawns peri-peri and the boerewors (beef & pork sausage), but just for the side of white corn "polenta" with tomato gravy on top.

And don't miss the malva pudding - the African version of banana pudding, with caramelized bananas, vanilla ice cream and custard made from an African liqueur called Amarula.

It's not easy to pull off Afrikaans barbecue in Hell's Kitchen. Clearly, they're adapting a South African tradition for American tastes - and American meats. And in the kitchen, the chef - Armando Martinez - is native American. The menu may sound like fusion, but it's no more complicated than the fusion involved in real South African barbecue.

Just imagine - Malaysian, Indian, Afrikaans and wild game. Minus the antelope and zebra.

Address: 472 9th Ave., at 36th Street
Phone: 212-695-9920
Cuisine: Modern Thai
Vibe: Buddhist-Zen
Hours: Sun-Thu: 11:30am-11pm, Fri-Sat: 11:30am-12am
First Bite Impressions: Unexpected delight
Note to Self: Order the mojito
Don't Miss Dish: Tamarind Duck- Crispy duck served with smoked tamarind soy sauce over a bed of baby bok choy
Price: Appetizers, $5-10; Entrees, $9-18.
Reservations: Reservations recommended.

A diamond in the rough you might say, at 36th Street & 9th Avenue there lives a quaint and nondescript new Thai restaurant that is anything but mundane.  Woks abound with jumbo shrimp - plump & delicious - glass noodle pad thai's and the duck I dare contend is as crispy on the outside & juicy on the inside as any you'll find in Chinatown. Pad Thai spring rolls are double-rolled for an extra crunchy effect and even gimmicky pork poppers with were well-matched to a homemade fire sauce.  Just when we thought this little Thai delight was simply too good to be true, a mound of fried ice cream came to the table.  Healthy?  Ha.  Creative?  Not really.  Coldstone Creamery would've hit the spot, but I had to finish what I'd started.  Sure, it's be a schlep to the rather unscenic 9th Avenue hood, but the Thai at this newbie might just be worth the trek.

 

204 West 55th St., btwn. 7th & Broadway Aves.
212-245-1234

TYPE: Mediterranean-American
VIBE: Whimsical opulence
OCCASION: Chichi date or group gathering
DON'T MISS DISH: Roasted sea bass with rock shrimp
DON'T BOTHER DISH: Stuffed ribeye steak
DRINK SPECIALTY: Aperitifs & global wine list
PRICE: $55 & up
HOURS: Dinner, Sun - Mon, 5 PM-10 PM; Tue – Thu, 5PM-11PM, Fri & Sat, 5 PM – 12 AM.  Lunch daily, 11 AM - 3 PM (Start date TBD).
INSIDE SCOOP: Lounge open with a separate 55th St. entrance, Sun - Wed, 5PM - 2AM, Thu-Sat, 5PM- 4AM (Start date TBD).
RESERVATIONS: Reservations accepted.
RESTAURANT GIRL RATES: 5.5 on food, 8 on atmosphere
FINAL WORD: While undeniably posh, this well-heeled newcomer leans on style over substance: the cuisine slightly falters.  When in midtown, drop into Amalia for exotic desserts & handcrafted aperitifs. 

Does restaurateur Greg Brier know something we don’t: Is midtown west set to become the Meatpacking District for 2007?  Highly unlikely.  But with 7000 square feet and 88 seats to fill, someone’s banking on trendy traffic in these parts. 

DECOR
Amalia is undeniably ambitious: black Murano chandeliers dangle elegantly above an ornate mosaic-tiled staircase as candlelight dances off brick walls and a gold leaf bar.  And that’s just the entrance.  Named after Sigmund Freud’s mother, the restaurant takes a thematic cue from the adjacent Dream Hotel.  It’s simultaneously childlike and sophisticated; sultry and playful; an Alice in Wonderland meets Versailles.  I traveled through a series of wood-paneled enclaves with Baroque-inspired accents to my table, set dramatically below a painting-clad ceiling.  The work of SL design (Marquee & Aspen), nothing about this space is subtle, and yet still manages to elude feeling contrived.

MENU
Though chef Ivy Stark most recently occupied two Mexican kitchens (Dos Caminos & Rosa Mexicano), at Amalia she focuses her efforts on Mediterranean-American preparations with liberal applications of Tunisian & Moroccan seasonings:  charmoula crusted salmon, foie gras with ras el hanout, and lamb osso bucco paired with harissa.  The menu’s also studded with fashionable ingredients: vanilla, meyer lemon, lavender and blood oranges.  Freud may have been preoccupied with his mother, Amalia, Ivy Stark seems particularly fixated on pomegranates: pomegranate vinaigrette, sorbet, aperitif, cocktails and even pomegranate walnut butter.

WINE & COCKTAILS:
The wine list runs the global gamut: Italy, France, Morocco, Turkey, and even Lebanon.  There’s a noteworthy selection of seasonally altered classic cocktails and house-aged eau de vie (aperitifs).  After failed attempts to order both the dried apricot and the pear-cardamom (both out of stock), I sampled a gentle, but sweet pomegranate, better suited for post-dinner endeavors.  My companion wisely opted for a vibrant rosemary-lemon elixir with earthy currents of thyme.  I highly recommend it.   

FOOD:
Upon surveying nearby tables, it seemed par for the course to invest in the trio of spreads served with warm herbed pita, my favorite being a creamy whip of avocado hummus.  While the bitterness of vanilla-pickled red onions proved too overpowering for a mild hamachi crudo, a tender eggplant & goat cheese “lasagnette”, sauced with roasted tomatoes & basil, was a flavorful venture. 

As far as entrees go, my advice is to stick with seafood.  I stumbled on a roasted sea bass gem.  Light & firm, the crispy-skinned sea bass was generously crowned with a wonderfully tangy picholine olive salsa verde and well-browned potatoes.  In stark contrast to the fish, the meatier offerings suffered.  A double-cut roasted pork chop, perilously undercooked, warranted an immediate return to the kitchen.  Upon second delivery, it arrived tough and dry, though I did enjoy the side of roasted fuji apples.  Ditto on an uninspired ribeye, an indistinct chewy cut, oddly stuffed with wild mushrooms.  While the menu theoretically conveys creative combinations of seasonings and ingredients, most of the flavors don't make it to the plate.  Just as the sea bass held great promise, Amalia's menu will hopefully prove to be a work in progress. 

DESSERT
The savory paled in comparison to a spirited and exotic dessert menu, created by John Miele, the former pastry chef at Aureole.  Miele crafts exotic spins on familiar desserts: apple & pecan crisp served with a heated urfa chile ice cream, and a crème brulee trio with rosemary and Tahitian vanilla twists.  My favorite offering was fortuitously added to the menu only that morning: crunchy polenta streusel topping was the perfect foil for this moist cake adrift in a dark pool of chocolate, and accompanied by a fluffy ricotta gelato.  While only an accessory to warm bananas & katafi (reminiscent of shredded wheat), the frozen lemon yogurt struck a perfectly tart and luscious balance, demanding my undivided attention.

Until we eat again,
Restaurant Girl
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458 Ninth Ave. (btwn. 35th & 36th Sts.)
(212)643-1200

VIBE: Cafeteria cool
OCCASION: Breakfast or your lunch break
GO WITH: Co-workers or go it alone
DON'T MISS DISH: Beef Burger
DON'T BOTHER DISH: Fresh squeezed lemon Fizz
PRICE: under $ 10
INSIDE SCOOP: Will deliver anywhere in the
city if you pay the cab fare
HOURS: Monday-Saturday, 8-9 PM, Sat. & Sun. 10-9 PM
RESTAURANT GIRL RATES (1-10): 6
FINAL WORD: What could be better?

You'll think you've died and gone to heaven at Burgers & Cupcakes if only it weren't in Hell's Kitchen with a window view of Lincoln Tunnel traffic.  This simple, but perky cafeteria-style luncheonette with pink & brown painted walls invites you to rediscover your inner child, bringing you back to a time of blissful naivete when calories and carbs didn't matter.  I took the leap of faith, making the trek to Mitchell London's (of catering fame) newest Ninth Avenue eatery where he cleverly pairs burgers & cupcakes, all but resolving the universal conflict between men and women negotiating over where the hell to eat. 

The curiously meatball-shaped burgers are dressed any way you want them - grilled mushrooms, avocado, blue cheese, vegetarian chili, pizza and on and on.  I got mine with an unusually soft goat cheese and turkey bacon.  While other burger joints press their burgers against a grated grill numerous times with a spatula (letting the juices tragically escape), Burgers & Cupcakes cooks their chuck sirloins on a flat grill and press them all but once to make for a crunchy outside, yet remarkably juicy inside.  It arrived at the table in a classically wrapped in paper, served in a basket with lettuce, tomato and a pickle. 

If beef's not your game, they also serve non-beef burgers - veggie, turkey, salmon, lemon grilled chicken and portobella mushroom all made fresh daily.  Co-owner Nance Avigligiano told me they get a whole salmon delivered every morning, then cut it up and grill it right on the premises.  I ordered added fresh avocado and pepper jack cheese to a flavorful lemon grilled chicken, a tasty combination.  Don't skip the crispy and fresh cut french fries, skins and all, reminding me of the salty Boardwalk fries of my youth.  I would skip the fresh squeezed lemon fizz, which tasted like a club soda with a squirt of bottled lemon juice. 

The cupcakes are ironically more "grown up" than your typical Magnolia-esque cupcake with sky high butter frosting.  Mitchell London churns out a denser cupcake topped off with a thin coat of frosting.  Call me a frosting fanatic, but the vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting didn't live up to my sugar-coated expectations.  Personally, I'd go with the carrot cupcake, a moist cake decorated with a luscious cream cheese frosting and capped off with shredded coconut. 

Only on my way out did I learn that they'll deliver anywhere in Manhattan (just pick up the taxi's tab), perfect for big office lunch orders.  Burgers & Cupcakes also serves breakfast - eggs, omelets, fresh-baked pastries & pancakes.  Next time, I'll send a car for my burger & fries.  Why shouldn't my lunch get to ride in style, too?

Until we eat again,
Restaurant Girl

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